if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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