We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Randomize
