So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
only if we run a train.
done.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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