i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
