was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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