i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
