I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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