you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
