I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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