you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
