There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
