You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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