Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
