Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I need to sanitize my soul.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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