My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize