The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
