Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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