Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
