How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
