I bet he comes in French.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
