Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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