I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
