Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
