FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
