how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize