im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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