TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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