whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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