how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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