i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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