Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
