1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I think a kid would responsible me up
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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