So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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