Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
that's an acceptable place to lick
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
