I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
