I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
