Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
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He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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