He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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