so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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