So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
