I could have mohawked her pubes.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
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She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
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Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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