I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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