As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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