i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
