I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
