please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
