Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
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Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
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I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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