If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
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ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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