We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
