I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
that is very illegal...i love you.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
