are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize