Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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