I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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