office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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