i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Randomize
