hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
