I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
