so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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