he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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