Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
someone threw a dead crab at me
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
