you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
