yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
