He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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