i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
