I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
