So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
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My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
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I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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