That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
