so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
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gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
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Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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