Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
