Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
