'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
They are going to name an STD after you.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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