She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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