Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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