I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize