I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Everclear isn't food dammit
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
