She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My cat gives me a boner
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going