so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
