I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...