): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased