Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.